28 March 2008 - 14:18Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory

Ever notice that seemingly normal people transform into bitter, hate-filled dumbasses as soon as they post on an internet forum or chat room? Well, Penny Arcade has an elegant formula for this phenomena:.

I’ve been reading the comments section below youtube videos, slashdot forums and digg posts and I can’t think of a better explanation than that. A subject like, say, video game design, that over lunch comes out as a reasoned debate over pro’s and con’s of style becomes a brutal four-letter word mudfest between combating comment threads. God help you should you bring up a subject with actual consequences like politics or free speech or religion in an internet arena- you will hear more unreasoning hatred of and by both sides than you could have ever imagined. The urge to strike back, to make your own wittily caustic reply about the original poster’s clear lack of intelligence and patent evidence of inbreeding will only serve to worsen the situation.

Back in the day I used to read Warcraft 3 gaming forums (don’t even start with me), and there was a particular poster whose gameplay seemed to echo my own desires for a smaller, quick paced game. His name was Mr.FunSocks. One day he was in one of his comment wars with another regular named zz33t and I chimed in my support for Mr.FunSocks with what I thought was a well reasoned analysis of both sides- I was promptly mocked by Mr.FunSocks as a n00b (I had only been a member of the forum for months, not years) and by zz33t as totally misunderstanding everything you-idiot-fuckface-why-don’t-you-shut-up-now.

Sigh. My fellow man. Why must you suck? Why can’t we all just get along?